The episode starts with Eddy showing off his newest scheme: a tire swing. Soon, however, he notices that Ed and Edd are not adequately advertising the ride. For this reason, he tries to get them to show it off, with Ed providing the swing power. This is unfortunate for Edd, as he doesn't really like the ride, but Eddy is all too happy to trade his friend's discomfort for a good advertising gimmick.
The luck of the Eds soon turns when the rope breaks under pressure, though. When this happens, Edd goes flying down the lane at the kids, who have been ignoring the Eds. They look up at Edd's screams and scatter. Jimmy isn't able to get out of the way fast enough and gets run over, but luckily for everyone else, the tire hits a rock and flies into the creek, impressing Rolf and nobody else. Kevin, inherently suspicious of the Eds, asks what they're up to. Eddy quickly fibs that what they're doing is setting up a creek cruise, and as proof, gestures to the sick-looking Edd, saying that Edd is "relaxed."
Once the scam is set up, there are three ready to go aboard the ship. Jonny and Jimmy buy their tickets from Ed, but when Rolf tries to buy his, Ed denies him, saying that "Captain Eddy" only allows two on board at a time. Jonny and Jimmy then try to cross the wood-and-rope bridge leading from the creek bank to the boat only for it to give way when they're in the middle of it, plopping them into the river. Edd and Eddy fish the two out, and Eddy gives Jimmy a complimentary towel. Ed, the yeoman, then comes on ship and fishes out the anchor. He tosses it away and, at Eddy's instruction, lowers himself into the water and begins to kick his feet, acting as the boat's engine.
As the cruise continues, the customers get thirsty, and Edd serves them juice. The cruise moves down the river merrily and happily, and on the way passes the trailer park, where the Kankers are doing a load of laundry. The commotion from the river attracts their attention, and the girls notice their "boyfriends" are on an afternoon sail. The Kankers talk amongst themselves about the Eds. Nobody on ship knows of this, however, and they continue sailing as Edd and Eddy set up the new entertainment. Eddy then announces that 88-Fingers Eddward is about to play for them. Edd sighs, annoyed with the instrument, and then plays an amazing example of Pedal Steel Guitar for the cruise.
The course of the cruise takes a sudden turn for the worse, as Jonny spots something in the distance. Eddy has Ed scope it out with the binoculars, but it's too far away for him to make out exactly what it is. Eddy looks up and sees that Ed is looking through the wrong end of the spyglass, then tells him to give it to him; upon reception, he peers through the magnifying end and spots exactly what's on the horizon: a pirate ship. He looks a bit lower, and spots the crew. Scared, Eddy raises the alarm, and yells for Ed to get back into the water and set them going at a faster pace. Once Ed does this, Eddy relaxes some, sure that they can get to shore and make a run for it. Unfortunately, he hasn't counted on the Kankers having a weed whacker attached to the back of their boat. The Kanker sisters start up their engine, swiftly catch the creek cruise, and stop the Eds in their tracks.
It is at this moment, when things look bleakest, that the Eds need a hero. Luckily for them, they have one, as Jimmy's cry will attest. On top of the Kankers' mast stands Jonny, holding his best friend tight. Jonny suddenly jumps, dragging Plank through the mainsail and ripping it apart. He plops into the water and swims underwater to Eddy's small craft. He is helped aboard and praised by everyone except the jealous Eddy. The Eds then set off again, with an extra boost from Ed's lips. The Kankers watch as they make their escape, but the sisters still have some fighting spirit left. Lee hands May a rubber band and a hairpin, and tells her sister to sink the ship. May takes careful aim and fires, scoring a direct hit on the back of the Eds tire. Seeing this, Jimmy cries out for Jonny to save them, but Eddy decides to take care of it himself since he's the captain. He marches over and tries to tug out the pin. Edd tries to warn Eddy of the possible consequences, but Eddy ignores him and rips out the bobby pin anyway. This creates a large hole in the tire, and all the air rushes out of it, leaving the crew of five stranded in the middle of the creek and at the mercy of the Kankers.
With their the Eds' ride sunk, the Kankers are indeed victorious, and has taken them hostage aboard their ship, forcing Jonny and Jimmy to walk the plank (which is literally Plank). Once the two customers leave, the Kankers turn to the Eds, who are huddled in a corner of the boat. Lee grins maliciously as she indicates to her sisters that it's time to claim their treasure.
Rolf is still waiting for his turn on the cruise. When the Eds crawl out of the creek, Rolf greets them happily and indicates he's ready to go, but is instead handed the deflated tire. The Eds have lipstick-smeared faces and look deeply unhappy. Eddy and Edd complain about their unpleasant experience on the high seas. Ed, however, is rather smiling, saying he's stuffed, and has water spewing from both of his ears onto his friends' heads, while Jimmy floats by in the background, panicking about the hair emergency he's going through.
Ed: [pushing Edd hard in the tire swing] "Doughnuts are made for dunking!" Edd[uncomfortable]: "Ed! Eddy!" Ed: [pushes the tire swing harder] "Dunk the doughnut!" Edd: "I think I'm going to be ill!" Eddy: [impressed with Ed's swinging] "I'd pay a quarter for that! Higher, Ed!"
Kevin: "Are you dorks up to something?" Eddy: "What? Uh... we were just uh... launching our new luxury cruise line! For a small fee, we'll offer two lucky passengers a relaxing cruise. Look how relaxed Double D is. Who's in for the thrill of a lifetime?"
Eddy: "Is this thing on?" Edd: "Eddy, just speak into the mike." Eddy: "What, this?" Edd: "Yes!" Eddy: "Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward." Edd: "This instrument is so annoying." [He starts to play the pedal steel guitar perfectly.]
Jimmy: "Eddy, you've run out of refreshments! And this rubber tube is giving me a rash." Eddy: "Hey kid, I'm on my break, d'you mind?"
Eddy: "Ed! Fire up the engine!" Ed: "Roger walnut, Eddy! Jump in!" [jumps down from crow's nest] "Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet-" Eddy: "Faster, Ed!" Ed: "Kick my feet faster, kick my feet faster... kick my feet faster!"
Eddy: "Ed, do something!" Ed: "Ahoy!" [Ed pulls on his ear like a starting rope on an outboard motor. After two tries he fires up the "motor".]
Rolf: "Hallo, Ed-boys! When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat." [Eddy hands him the ruins of the tire.] "What?" [He stares dumbly.] "Huh?" Edd: "I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be... enjoyable." Eddy: "Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress." Ed:"I'm stuffed!" Jimmy: [floating by in the background] "Hair emergency! Hair emergency!"