"Ed or Tails" is the 14th episode of Season 3 and the 66th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, Ed gets Slovak Jawbreakers in the mail, however he got two jawbreakers and there are three Eds. The Eds now must find a way to solve this problem, so they can enjoy the jawbreakers.
Things begins with yet another scam that Eddy is pitching to a nervous Jimmy. The scam is basically to rent out Ed or Edd, who are (unwillingly in Edd's case) dressed as clowns, for a day in order to improve one's "dull life." The scam fails after the rest of the kids ridicule and criticize it, Kevin in particular. However, Eddy still gets a good laugh after stuffing the other two Eds into a miniature clown car that soon loses control and knocks over Jonny. They eventually end up at Ed's House, where a package addressed to Ed is found. Eddy decides to open it for himself, oblivious to the fact that the package isn't addressed to him. Edd scolds Eddy for committing mail fraud, but Ed, who couldn't care less, dives the box and pulls of a pack of Limited Edition Slovak Jawbreakers. Ed explains that he'd ordered it for free after finding an ad for it at the back of one of his comic books. When the three plan to eat said jawbreakers they find themselves in a difficult situation; there are only two jawbreakers among the three of them. Ed, however, doesn't realize that the two jawbreakers can't feed the three of them, prompting Eddy to ask him how many times does two go into three. Ed spends the entire night thinking of an answer.
The next morning, Ed finally realizes that there's not enough for all of them, and out of generosity and friendship, he sadly gives them to Edd and Eddy. Eddy, unable to empathize with Ed, proceeds to eats it, but Edd stops him from doing so, pointing to a visibly saddened Ed. He tells Eddy that they need to be fair and should break the jawbreakers into three equal shares. However, their plan to break one of the jawbreakers into two with a fridge on a teeter-totter fails. Rather than breaking the jawbreaker, the weight of the fridge fires the jawbreaker out of the gap between the ground and the bottom of the teeter-totter, sending it flying at great speeds into Jonny'syard, and then into Jonny's mouth, leaving themselves with only one jawbreaker. Edd and Eddy begin to argue over whose fault it is for the loss of the jawbreaker, and their conflict escalates into fistfight between themselves and Ed, who joins in with a grunt of "Fight". Rolf passes by and breaks up the fight, disgusted by their antics. He suggests to have a competition amongst themselves to determine who would receive the jawbreaker. The Eds, interested by Rolf's idea, agree to compete against each other.
The competition is a simple footrace that requires the Eds to carry three eggs in a ladle around Rolf's Yard. They must run down the yard, around the "goat of maturity" (Victor) and back to the finish line in order to claim the jawbreaker prize. However, this simple race is further complicated by Edd and Eddy's methods of cheating. Eddy pours glue into his ladle to prevent the eggs from falling and then ties Ed's shoelaces together, which causes him to fall and break the eggs the second the race starts. Meanwhile, Edd pulls out one of his inventions that allows him to race without any physical effort, as well as having multiple gadgets that sabotage Eddy's attempts to thwart the race. Although The Kids point out to Rolf that they're breaking the rules, he simply sits back and watches the race, believing it is more enjoyable to watch The Eds cheat. While they are racing, they (including Ed, who's already out of the race for breaking his eggs) try to thwart each other's attempts to reach the finish line.
Eddy takes the lead and, in his first attempt to sabotage the race, pulls a strand of wieners (Rolf had outlined the course using these) and makes it so that they lead to a nearby mailbox, hoping that Edd would follow the trail and crash. Edd simply runs over the strand and continues forward. Edd taunts Eddy for using "cliche cartoon antics" and then presses a button on the strap of his backpack. A mechanical arm with a watering can emerges and shoots forward, watering a small patch of grass. Eddy runs over the patch but is shot upward by the rapidly growing grass. Edd presses the button again which activates a push mower, from his fanny pack, that cuts through the grass pillar that had been erected.
As Edd takes the lead, Eddy calls out to him, saying that he has grass stains on his sock. Edd curses the grass and takes a moment to wash his socks in the middle of the race, giving Eddy the opportunity to take the lead. Meanwhile Ed, still intent on winning, tries to distract Eddy by telling him that his hair is "on backwards", pointing at Rolf, offering a dinner and showing off a large toaster. While Eddy doesn't fall for Ed's tricks, he does fall for the RC Mirror that Edd steers over in his direction. The RC Mirror speeds off in another direction and Eddy follows it. While Edd takes the time to call him a "Narcissistic Ninny", he fails to notice the "Goat of Maturity" and crashes into him. Eddy retakes the lead.
Eddy spots a bush and hops into it. He then stretches his leg out onto the track in an attempt to trip Edd and his vehicle. Edd then activates his push mower, which frightens Eddy, causing him to retract his leg. Edd takes the lead.
Sarah excitedly shouts that Edd is about the win, Edd realizes this but before he can celebrate Eddy magically appears on top of his vehicle! Eddy pulls up the propeller fan causing it to hook onto a tree branch, stranding Edd. Eddy slowly walks towards the finish line, high on an ego trip. Ed is still at the starting line but decides to cheat by simply walking to the finish line, bypassing the entire course. Edd, still in the tree, takes off his shoe and after a few calculations kicks it towards Eddy. Rolf declares Ed the winner, as he was the first to reach the jawbreaker, albeit illegally. Eddy stares at Ed in disbelief, as he does so Edd's shoe comes flying in and knocks Eddy forward, hitting the jawbreaker and sending it flying. Ed, who was about to devour the jawbreaker, doesn't realize Eddy's head is in the way and promptly eats him.
The Eds come to their senses and chase after the rogue jawbreaker. The jawbreaker rolls along a fence and, just as Edd and Eddy were about to grab it, Ed bulldozes through the fence Ed catches the jawbreaker but he inadvertently knocks it and everyone into the creek. The Eds frantically search for the jawbreaker in the creek until nightfall. Edd states that they should give up the search as the jawbreaker would have dissolved by then. Eddy complains that he almost had the jawbreaker and scolds Edd for being honest and generous, which caused them to be unable to enjoy the jawbreakers. Suddenly Ed shouts that he has found it. Edd and Eddy turn to him but find out that he has really just eaten a snail, which he claims tastes like chicken. Edd orders him to let the snail go, but Eddy covers his mouth up with his hands before anything else is said from him. He feigns envy towards Ed, as the episode ends with the snail popping out of Ed's ear.
Eddy: "Are you boring?" Jimmy: "Gee, Eddy, I…" Eddy: "Boring, good!" [checks "boring" off of a list on a clipboard he is holding] "Do you lack a life?" Jimmy: "I… I… I've really got to-" Eddy: "Check!" [checks off "lacks a life" off of a list on the clipboard] "Pay attention Curly-Q! Are you unconshe… unconchi…" [shows the clipboard to Double D, who is dressed like a clown, while pointing at the word "unconscious"] Edd: "Unconscious, Eddy." Eddy: "Dead from the neck up? Jimmy:[awkward silence] Eddy: "Check! Congratulations, you're dull!"
Rolf: "Rolf comes from a long line of village buffoons Kevin, do not mock the clown." Kevin: "...You're kiddin', right?"
Rolf: [seeing the Eds fighting and separating them] "Excuse me Ed-boys, but Rolf must discipline the nanny goats!" [Rolf grabs all three Eds and smack them together on the head] "You make Rolf sick! If you must quarrel over the orb of rapture it must be done with honor, a competition of shrewdness!"
Ed: "Could you pull my finger, Rolf?" Rolf: "...No." [Ed cries off-screen in the background]
Rolf: [wheeling a wheelbarrow with 3 ladles full of eggs] "Silence! As our competitors must carry out one objective: To balance these eggs within the ladle of valor! Ed: [Off screen in background] Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs. Edd: [Off screen in background] Oh dear. Eddy: Careful there pal [Slaps Edd on the back causing the eggs to jump]. Rolf: Not easy, I tell you, as they must skedaddle down, and circle the goat of maturity, skedaddle back to finish and claim the ball of sweetness." [Hangs the jawbreaker on a tree with a hook].
Sarah: [all the kids looking at Rolf] "Hey, Rolf, are you blind?!" Jonny: "They're breaking the rules!" Rolf: [ignoring the others' complaints while chewing grapes] "Yes. A fine performance."
Edd: [unscathed by Eddy's attempt to cheat] "Cliché cartoon antics, Eddy? Is that all you've got?"
Eddy: "Hey Double D! You've got grass stains on your sock!" Edd: [looks down] "Curse this pasture related plant!"
Ed: [trying to distract Eddy] "Oh Eddy! Your hair is on backwards! Um, or stained? Um..." Rolf: [encouraging] "Yes, go on Ed-boy." Ed: "Eddy! Oh look, it's Rolf!" Eddy: [unamused] "Give it up, Ed.
Ed: [yelling offscreen] "Oh, Eddy!" Eddy: "What?!" Ed: [sitting at a table with a turkey dinner] "I got cranberry sauce!"
Ed: "Oh Eddy!" [pops out of a giant cardboard toaster and gesture for Eddy to join him]
Ed: "Oh Eddy!" Eddy: [fed up with Ed's distractions] "Ed, shut up!" Rolf: [holding Ed's hand up in the air celebrating his victory] "The simple Ed boy is victor!" Ed: [offscreen as Eddy stares in disbelief as Edd's shoe hits his head] "Hi mom!"
Eddy: [After eating Eddy's head by accident] "Ed, remind me to lend you some floss."
Eddy: "Ed, how many times does two go into three? THINK!" [Ed spends the whole day and night trying to think of the answer until the next day] Ed: "We are three and you are two!" Eddy: "Should we tell him?" Edd: "He's a big boy, Eddy."
Before Ed and Edd get stuffed into their miniature wind-up car by Eddy, they had their clown costumes on. But when Ed and Edd get out of the wind-up car at Ed's house, their clown costumes are gone and they are back in their regular clothes.
The porch lights on Ed's house and Jonny's house are transparent against the walls.
When Jonny yells "Eddy's on the homestretch!" the soles of his sandals are missing.
When the Eds crashed through the fence and into the river, a plank from the fence was removed (because Edd landed on it) and drifted downriver. Later, after a close-up of Ed, if you look closely you'll notice the plank is back on the fence.
Jimmy is revealed to have a fear of clowns.
Rolf reveals he comes from a line of village buffoons.