The Serial Toucher Catcher is the unofficial name given to the first scam the Eds conceived and carried out in the show during "The Ed-Touchables." The scam was a service that offered to catch the local "Serial Toucher" running amok in the neighborhood and bring them to justice.
Background[]
Eddy arrived at Edd's house one morning as he was setting up labels on the various objects in his room. As Edd was about to label his final object, to his horror, he discovered that his magnifying glass had gone missing. During a mental breakdown, Edd was convinced that someone had broken into his room and stole it. Eddy managed to snap him out of his psychotic episode and the two proceeded to Ed's house. As the two visited Ed, Sarah barged into the room and accused Ed of stealing her doll. Eddy jumped to the conclusion that someone or something was prowling the neighborhood looking to touch (steal) everyone's stuff. The three Eds left to go warn the other kids.
Scam[]
The announcement[]
Eddy stood in the middle of the Cul-de-Sac using a traffic cone as a megaphone to warn the kids of the "Serial Toucher." He claimed that they had the situation under control, but informed the kids that they should still hide their valuables as a precaution. After Kevin questioned what they intend to do about the Serial Toucher, Eddy stated that they are going to find out who the culprit is. After Kevin stated that he'd pay money to see that, the rest of the kids agreed to pay money as well. The Eds then left to formulate a plan.
The trap[]
The plan was simple. They had Ed sit on a park bench while wearing a "Don't Touch!" sign around his neck. The Eds figured whoever was the first to walk up and disobey the sign was the culprit. An alarm would then go off and alert the other two Eds.
The chase[]
Soon after setting up the trap, Jonny with Plank walked up to the bench and made small talk with Ed. Plank then wanted to feel Ed's hair so Jonny let him. Edd pulled the alarm, which startled Jonny. Edd and Eddy popped out and immediately accused him of being the Serial Toucher. Jonny then sped off with the Eds in pursuit. As Jonny ran down a street, the Eds hid behind a streetlight and tripped him. Jonny tried to make Plank escape by tossing him up into the air, but his attempt was futile as the wooden board fell back down to the ground. The Eds then captured the two and dragged them to the interrogation room.
Interrogation[]
Jonny and Plank were brought into Edd's garage for trial/interrogation on the missing objects. Using a lie detector, Eddy first started interrogating Jonny, who claimed he had no idea what the Eds were accusing him of. Eddy then focused on interrogating Plank for answers. After receiving silence and a handful of splinters, Eddy pulled out a squirt gun and used it as a form of water torture on Plank. The incessant dripping drove Jonny crazy, as the water increased his urge to empty his bladder. Jonny falsely confessed to the crime because it was the only way for him to be released to go use the restroom. The following is the entire interrogation verbatim:
Trial stenography[]
Ed: "Hey Jonny, nice haircut, Double D's got a surprise for you; a lie detector!"
[Edd pops a slice of bread into the toaster of the lie detector and starts the toaster up.]
Edd: "Ready!"
Ed: "Better watch what you say, Jonny."
Eddy: "Yeah Jonny, you wouldn't lie to your pals now, would ya? Ed, light!" [Ed tosses Eddy the flashlight, but it lands on the ground and Eddy has to pick it up himself.]
Eddy: [pointing flashlight at Jonny] "Alright Jonny, enough foolin' around. So why don't you tell us where everybody's stuff is, hm?"
Jonny: "I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything!"
Eddy: "What's the word, Double D?"
[Edd begins to sniff the smoke rising from the toaster.]
Edd: "Inconclusive, Eddy."
[Eddy growls in annoyance.]
Eddy: "Well if you won't talk, maybe your friend will."
[Eddy focuses his attention on Plank.]
Eddy: "You must be the brains, eh?"
[Plank says nothing.]
Eddy: "Where's the stuff, Plankie? 'Fess up!"
[Plank says nothing.]
Eddy: "Hm, silent huh?"
[Eddy smacks Plank.]
Eddy: "AAAAHHHH! SPLINTERS!"
Jonny: "AAAHHH! Leave Plank alone, Eddy!"
[The toasted bread pops out of the toaster. Edd scans it and pegs out the word "False" into a nearby Lite-Brite board. He turns the screen so the Eds can see the answer.]
Edd: "As you can see, the board is lying!"
Eddy: "Well Plankie, I think it's time we try other methods."
[Eddy pulls out a squirt gun.]
Eddy: "This will make you swell up good."
[Eddy drips the water onto Plank. This triggers a gut reaction in Jonny's bladder, and eventually he can't take it any longer.]
Jonny: "Okay, okay! I did it, I took everyone's stuff! Now let me go! I've got to go to the bathroom!"
Eddy: "You heard 'im boys. Case closed!"
Aftermath[]
For the most part, the scam was a success. The Eds successfully nabbed and convicted a culprit to the crime and got to spend the reward money on the sought after jawbreakers. The Eds punished Jonny by stuffing him into a tractor tire and rolling him across the Cul-de-Sac. It would have been a complete success if Jonny was the actual perpetrator. Sarah arrived soon after the Eds punished Jonny and stated that she found her doll under her bed. Edd then confessed to having located his magnifying glass, proving that the kids had really misplaced the items all along and that there was no Serial Toucher. Eddy disregarded this recent development and proceeded with his plan to buy jawbreakers rather than giving a refund or setting Jonny free. Sarah then hatched a revenge plan. Using Jonny and his tire, she rolled him down a street towards the Candy Store where the Eds were standing out in front enjoying their jawbreakers. Jonny knocked them over, causing the jawbreakers to fly out of their mouths. The Eds then chased the sugar-coated candied spheres down the street, never being able to fully enjoy their treats.
Trivia[]
- This was the first scam shown in the entire series.
Gallery[]
