Club Ed: The Rules and Regulations is a short included on the Ed, Edd n Eddy Vol.1: Edifying Ed-ventures DVD. It details the requirements necessary to be a member of Club Ed. A narrator with a posh accent details the rules and remarks on them while clips of Ed, Edd n Eddy play in order to further illustrate how the Eds follow them–or rather, how the Eds disobey these purported rules.
Rules[]
- Rule 1: Attire
One must always wear appropriate clothing. - Rule 2: Food
Always use your manners and eat healthy. - Rule 3: Women
Always treat a lady with respect. - Rule 4: Hygiene
Maintain a high level of cleanliness at all times. - Rule 5: Work Ethics
Only offer quality services and products to your customers. - Rule 6: Athletics
Maintain a high level of physical fitness. - Rule 7: Art Appreciation
Educate oneself in all areas of the arts.
Script[]
- [We find ourselves staring at a wall of Ed's room with a poster for Club Ed. Flies are hovering above a trash can near the poster. Next to the poster is a list of rules in fancy font. A British-accented narrator begins speaking.]
Narrator: "Club Ed is an establishment for the elite." [Fancy pictures of Ed, Edd, and Eddy are shown.] "One that members much reach a level of maturity and sophistication to be accepted in." [The camera pans out from a list of Rules and Regulations.] "The following are some rules and regulations that keep Club Ed at its highest possible standard."
[The camera has now fully panned out, and we a treated to the sight of Ed's room, decorated with Club Ed memorabilia.]
Rule 1: Attire[]
- Narrator: "There is a dress code at Club Ed." [A clip of the Eds hastily getting dressed from "Hot Buttered Ed" plays.] "To ensure that all its members wear appropriate attire."
[A clip from "Sir Ed-a-Lot" plays.]
Eddy: "No way!" [Ed shoves a jester's hat onto Eddy's head.]
Narrator: "Formalwear–" [Ed is shown dressed like Eddy, wearing sunglasses, drinking lemonade, and slacking off in a lawn chair. The clip is from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."] "–is expected at all major events."
[Edd blows a bugle. This clip is from "Sir Ed-a-Lot." A new clip is then switched to: Eddy getting the door while in a dress from the same episode.]
Jimmy: "It is I, Prince Jimmy!"
[Eddy slams the door in Jimmy's face. A new clip comes on: Ed laughing, from "Hot Buttered Ed." The clip then changes to the kids playing "Spin the Bottle," from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]
Narrator: "And during regular club meetings–" [A new clip plays: Edd blowing on a jug, from "Avast Ye Eds."] "–and social gatherings–" [New clip: the kids smiling at Jimmy in "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."] "–members wear–" [The Eds in a trenchcoat, from "Who, What, Where, Ed."] "–their standard-issued Club Ed uniforms."
[Clips from "Know it All Ed" showcasing the Eds in cowboy clothes play.]
Lee: "I love a man in uniform."
[Eddy steps aside, showing Ed and Edd clinging to each other and cowering behind him.]
Narrator: "This promotes unity among the members."
[A fart sound effect is heard.]
Rule 2: Food[]
- Ed: [voice only, from "Know it All Ed"] "Cookies and milk!"
Eddy: [seen from Jimmy's front-door peephole, from "Who, What, Where, Ed"] "What's with the food?"
Narrator: "Nutrition is always a high priority to members of Club Ed." [May removes a hot dog from a laundry basket and prepares to eat it. Clip is from "Avast Ye Eds."]
Edd: [cooking, from "Who, What, Where, Ed"] "Just as I thought. One teaspoon of butter, perfectly measured."
Eddy: "Huh." [Clip is from "Who, What, Where, Ed."]
Edd: [opening a cooler, from "Avast Ye Eds"] "The refreshments I've prepared are carefully blended fruit juices, guaranteed to quench a thirst and prevent scurvy."
Eddy: [dressed as Edd, from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "Eddy, I too am thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct."
Edd: [offscreen] "Parched!"
Narrator: [Ed (as Eddy) shoves Eddy (as Edd) onto a faucet, filling him up. This clip is from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "A well-balanced diet–" [Ed is seen eating a bowl of fruit, from "Who, What, Where, Ed."] "–is expected at every meal."
Eddy: [cooking, from "Who, What, Where, Ed"] "Ed, eggs, I need eggs!"
[Ed, getting Eddy eggs, falls down.]
Narrator: [as Edd and Eddy are bombarded with eggs] "And table manners are highly enforced."
Rule 3: Women[]
- Narrator: "The members of Club Ed are all gentlemen." [The Eds race by Jonny, leaving him dazed; clip is from "Who, What, Where, Ed."]
Sarah: [drawing back a tennis racket] "Whoa." [realizing Eddy is on the other end] "HEY!"
Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah."
Sarah: [sending Eddy sailing into the net] "Don't ever touch my racket!" [The clip is from "Who, What, Where, Ed."]
[The Eds show up at the Construction Site in Western wear. This clip is from "Know it All Ed."]
Eddy: [shaking his fist] "Okay, Kankers! I'm calling you out!"
Narrator: [as Eddy yells at the Kanker sisters] "They treat ladies with respect and are always grateful for their company." [Ed scratches his butt.]
Eddy: "Draw!" [The Eds shoot at their enemies.]
Rule 4: Hygiene[]
- Narrator: [as the Eds deal with a puddle in "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "This is an establishment of sophisticated young men that take pride in their hygiene and cleanliness."
Eddy: [to Kevin, as Edd, from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "A pleasure to look at you! May I inspect your nostrils?"
[A moldy piece of bread is on Ed's floor, drawing flies. Edd, stuck in an armchair, stares at it up close. This clip is from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]
Edd: "Oh, the inhumanity!"
Narrator: [as the camera pans over Ed's room] "They will go to any lengths to keep tidy and make themselves presentable." [The Eds are seen searching their sock holsters in "Know it All Ed."]
Eddy: "Boy, Double D, you stink." [Clip is from "Know it All Ed."]
Edd: [soaked in Krankshaft No.5, from "Know it All Ed"] "Oh, it'll take weeks to disinfect these clothes!"
Rule 5: Work Ethics[]
- Narrator: [as Eddy bites on a wooden nickel in "Know it All Ed"] "Club Ed is known for taking work ethic seriously."
Eddy: [with Edd, confronting Rolf during "Know it All Ed"] "That's a twenty-five cent prospecting fine!"
Rolf: "But I am washing dishes, no-brain Ed-boy."
Narrator: [as Edd and Eddy examine a squirt gun during "Know it All Ed"] "They only produce the highest quality of products."
[Ed pretends to be a brain-sucking alien in "Know it All Ed."]
Eddy: [grabbing a turkey baster out of Ed's mouth] "What we have here, is a squirt gun."
Narrator: [as the kids rush Double D's House of Import-Exports during "Know it All Ed"] "And refuse to be associated with improper moneymaking schemes."
Eddy: [as Edd floats on a giant tire in "Avast Ye Eds"] "For a small fee, we'll offer two lucky passengers a relaxing cruise. Look how relaxed Double D is." [Edd pants.]
Narrator: [as Jimmy and Jonny cross a rickety rope bridge during "Avast Ye Eds"] "To them, the customer is always right."
Jimmy: [riding the cruise from "Avast Ye Eds"] "Eddy, you've run out of refreshments!"
Eddy: "Hey kid, I'm on my break, do you mind?"
Rule 6: Athletics[]
- Narrator: [as Eddy runs on the beach during "Hot Buttered Ed"] "There is a fitness program implemented at–" [Edd bobs on the water. The clip is from "Hot Buttered Ed."] "–Club Ed to assure that–" [Sarah uses Eddy as a racehorse in "Sir Ed-a-Lot"] "–all its members are in top physical condition."
Sarah: [to Eddy] "Go faster!"
Eddy: [throwing Sarah off and removing his bit] "This stinks!"
Narrator: "Not only strength–" [Ed pulls a fridge over, his tongue frozen to the inside. This clip is from "Who, What, Where, Ed."] "–but flexibility and endurance–" [A clip from "Who, What, Where, Ed" where Ed picks up his two friends is shown.] "–are tested in this very rigorous curriculum."
Eddy: [to Edd while riding Ed as a camel during "Hot Buttered Ed"] "Why don't you do something useful? Like hurry up!"
[Edd grits his teeth in anger.]
Rule 7: Art Appreciation[]
- [A clip plays of Edd measuring the wind from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]
Narrator: "Like all well-rounded gentlemen–" [the Eds during "Know it All Ed" are shown] "–these young men–" [Ed is shown running with a paintbrush and paints while his friends follow with more art supplies. This clip is from "Who, What, Where, Ed."] "–are required to spend as much time on brain as brawn."
Eddy: [staring down a bottle, imitating Edd, from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "I'll move it with my brain!"
Narrator: [as Eddy, imitating Edd, balances a bone on his finger during "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"] "There's a large amount of education–" [Edd is shown playing the pedal-steel in "Avast Ye Eds." However, the sound that comes out is the one played by Jimmy on his retainer in "Hands Across Ed."] "–invested in the arts at Club Ed."
[Ed and Edd are seen painting. This clip is from "Sir Ed-a-Lot."]
Eddy: "How's it going? Ooh, nice work!"
[The Eds are seen practicing shadow puppetry in "Hot Buttered Ed."]
Narrator: "As is reflected in all its talented colleagues."
Eddy: [shadow-pinching Ed's head] "Boink!"
Narrator: [scene returning to Ed's decorated room] "As you can see, Club Ed is an organization with stature, with dignity, and only the highest quality in membership."
Trivia[]
- All of the clips featured in the video come from the episodes included on the DVD.
- There are three backgrounds for the rules: white squares outlined in light blue, light blue horizontal lines on a white background, and purple vertical stripes on a light purple background.