Once again, Eddy has come up with a new scam. His idea? A surf school. Jimmy is first in line to try it out, and Edd is willing to teach the fearful child; unfortunately, Jimmy is more prone to wavering between bravado and fear. He is eventually completely sold on the idea by Eddy, and willing to submit to a trial on the waves. Ed then decides to provide it by leaping into the kiddie pool, and thus wrecks the scam by knocking all the water out of the pool.
The scam is over, but Jonny has arrived. He notes that the Eds have all kinds of fun, and said that Plank would love a ride, mentioning that Plank spent all of his allowance on the rollercoaster when they went to an amusement park once. At this, Eddy's ears perk up, and he decides to give Plank a ride. Eddy hurls Plank through the air, but Jonny says that Plank won't pay for kiddie rides. Eddy is somewhat upset, but decides to set up a ride for the hunk of termite food.
Enter the Bumper Cars. Edd has built a ride to thrill Plank in the middle of the Lane, and Plank will get to bump all three boys for a measly quarter. Jonny pays, and Eddy makes a few board jokes, only to learn that Plank does not take kindly to these, smashing the cars to pieces.
Once the ride is over, however, Jonny states that Plank thought it was pretty boring and babyish. This angers Eddy, but Eddy soon comes up with a way to squeeze a bit more money out of Plank: the Log of No Return. Set in the construction site, this is guaranteed to give Plank a thrill, as the wood will soar through the air above a log infested with angry, hungry termites. This ride will cost 50 cents. Jonny initially refuses, but Plank soon guilts him into paying, and Jonny drops two quarters into Eddy's greedy hands. Ed then lines Plank up for the ride, and at this point Jonny has second thoughts, as he realizes he might lose his friend forever. He's too late, however; Ed launches Plank forward, and he flies over the termites before dropping down, down, down towards the middle of the log. At this point, one of Edd's safety precautions kicks in, and a parachute strapped to Plank's back unfolds. Plank floats off into a tree, and Jonny yells at him to get down. While Eddy is unperturbed, he's convinced to get in the tree with his friends so they can get Plank back after the hunk of wood trash talks him yet again. The trio almost reach Plank when the jar of termites Ed has been carrying around falls out of his jacket pocket and devours the tree. Plank floats free, but the Eds fall into the creek. Jonny chases his friend across the river as the Eds float downstream, eventually going down a waterfall.
When the Eds finally hit dry land, who else is there but Jonny? Plank wants another ride. Eddy refuses initially, but soon learns that Plank, in all his craziness, will pay a whole dollar. This commission is, much to Edd's chagrin, enough for another ride to be constructed, and after some time and much effort Edd develops a rollercoaster called Requiem for a Whiplash. Winding down a severely steep hill, this is surely going to cure Plank of his lust for thrills for a while.
At this point, Plank offers a new, crazy deal: five dollars if the Eds ride with him. Eddy grabs his friends and leaps into the shopping cart, ready to ride with Plank, but soon finds that Plank has turned the tables, as Plank falls onto the board keeping the cart in place. The Eds start to ride down the hill uncontrollably as Jonny and Plank watch gleefully. When they come to the end, they relax, until Edd hears a ticking and remembers the surprise he came up with for Plank. The alarm rings, and the Eds are sent skyrocketing. As they are shot upward, the quarters fall out of Eddy's pocket and are caught by Jonny, who calls after him that he owes Plank a buck for the ride.
Jonny: "You guys have more fun than a barrel of monkeys! What's that, Plank? You wanna surf too? Why, you'd swell up bigger than a breadbox!" Eddy: "Well, step right up to Ed's Surf–" [sees Ed upside down in the kiddie pool with the fake soda vending machine still on him] Ed: "Are we having fun yet?" [laughs] Eddy: "Oh, you'll have fun...HEALING AFTER I GET THROUGH–" [Jonny interrupts Eddy by putting Plank in front of his face] Jonny: "Too bad! Plank was just aching to try a new ride!"
Edd: [refusing to get wet again] "I object! My skin is still pruned from that surf school fiasco!" Eddy: "Ed..." [pushes Edd out of the way] "Who are we to deny Plank a thrill ride of a life time?" [gives Plank to Ed] "Let's get to work! Who says money can't buy happiness?" Ed: [to Plank] "Hello, my name is Ed." [cleans out his ear and puts his ear on Plank] Edd: "Save your energy, Ed. We have lumber to filch." [Ed continues his attempt to hear Plank as Double D passes by.]
Jonny: "Now get in there and bump them!" Eddy: [with fake fear in his voice] "Plank's gonna bump us? Oh no! He's gonna bump us!" [laughs] "What's he gonna do, 'board' us to death?" [laughs again] "Oh look, I'm scared stiff! Stiff as a board!" [turns into the shape of a board] Ed: [laughing] "Board jokes are funny!"
Edd: [almost losing his temper but biting his tongue instead] "Oooohhhh…darn it!" [follows Jonny to get Plank] Ed: "Double D almost said a bad word, Eddy!" [follows Double D] Eddy: "HOLD ON A SECOND! What about the candy store?! I got 75 cents here, where ya going?!"
Ed: [grabs Eddy] "Don't go Eddy! Plank needs us." Jonny: "Plank says who needs that nag-headed, no neck, chicken-livered geek anyway." Eddy: [outraged] "That's it! I've had it with that stick's mouth!" [pushes Ed and Edd up the tree] Edd: "But Eddy, he's so high up." Eddy: [struggling to push Ed and Edd] "Shut up and climb!"
Ed: "This is my lucky potato, Plank, it will serve you well! Here you go!"
Ed: [careening downhill in the shopping cart and oblivious to danger] "Let's sing a song!"
When Ed, Edd and Eddy are up in the tree with Plank, he seems to be touching the tree when the termites are eating it. Considering that Plank is wood like the tree trunk, wouldn't he have been eaten as well?
When Eddy drops his money, six quarters fall to the ground, but Jonny only gave Eddy 75 cents, which is three quarters. It's possible that Jonny paid for the ride, but Requiem for a Whiplash costs a dollar, so there should have been 7 quarters. Of course, it's possible that one of Eddy's quarters didn't fall out of his pants or that Eddy had money in his pocket already, possibly from the Big Kahuna scam.
While flying down the roller coaster, Ed can be heard saying, "Let's sing a song!" He first said this in the episode "Dim Lit Ed." It was used again in the movie.
As the Eds were boarding the roller coaster, Eddy told Edd "Don't rain on my parade.". This was used as a title reference for a later episode, "Don't Rain on My Ed."
Plank was able to move a little when he was near the ride but Jonny wasn't. He also fell over by himself. This complicates the mystery of Plank's nature.
However, in an earlier episode (before "Virt-Ed-Go") he was seen being able to climb a tree without any fear at that point. Also, in the later episode "They Call Him Mr. Ed," Ed built an elevator that went all the way to the moon.
If you look closely on the Log of No Return ride sign, you can see a copyright symbol with Eddy's name next to it. This is the only scam that has a copyright by Eddy in the series.
Eddy as a lifeguard with Soda Machine Ed.
A can of Ed Soda.
Here comes the wave!
Edd and Jimmy "surfing."
Eddy mocking Jonny's abnormal habits.
"PLANK GETS AN ALLOWANCE?!?"
"Oh look, I'm scared stiff, stiff as a board!"
"What? Jealous you can't come up with a board joke?"
Plank says "Bumper cars are for chickens and whoever thought that up should have their brain lacquered."
Now I'm really wondering what they've got over there.
"Where's the cash?!?" – Eddy Please consider downloading this episode of the show in high definition from iTunes in order to support the creators' hard work.
"Rolf's television seems… dated." – Edd We're sorry, but the video of Gimme, Gimme Never Ed is not currently embedded. You can download the episode from iTunes or watch a free, lower-quality version here.