The Newspaper Shooter was shown in "Read All About Ed." It is capable of firing newspapers to their destinations instead of having to manually deliver the newspapers. Ed ruined the shooter after dropping Eddy's bed into the shooter's intake.
- Vacuum (Component)
- Cardboard box with parts cut out (Body)
- Two tubes of different sizes (Launching Devices)
- Funnels (Entrance and Exit)
When Ed dropped Eddy's bed into the machine, it began to overload and malfunction. Ed panicked and tried to jump up and down to make the bed go through which caused it to shoot newspapers faster and cause mass chaos. Going on a rampage, it took Ed and shot newspapers at everything in the The Cul-de-Sac, including Kevin. Soon, when the wheels got busted by the sidewalk, it shot one last newspaper at Sarah then shut down completely and destroyed. The machine later appeared in "3 Squares and an Ed" on one of the shelves in Edd's Cabinet of Failed Inventions.