"No Speak Da Ed" is the 7th episode of Season 5 and the 109th episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy. In this episode, kids are getting gifts from the penpals they've made through International Studies class. However Ed's new pen pal keeps sending him wolf-related gifts that cause Rolf to get very agitated due to something traumatic from his past.
Lunch has just begun, and the Kankers are about to dig in to a hearty meal when their chairs shake. They are shaking because a dimwitted Ed is scraping the gum off of the bottom of the chairs. Soon, though, his reason for doing this is revealed, as he gallops back to a stand reading "Moon Rocks" and hands the gum over to a spacesuit-clad Edd, who is painting them blue. Eddy is also clad in a spacesuit, and he's taking care of the sales part of the business, by trying to sell them to prospective customers. Of course, Kevin and Nazz aren't interested in this shoddy scam, but this soon ceases to matter to Eddy as he's distracted by the appearance of the Urban Rangers, who are making a mail call from the international pen pals, an assignment that has been given the kids as part of their International Studies class.
Needless to say, each of the Eds have different reactions to their pen pals. Double D is naturally overjoyed to have a foreign pen pal in the form of Gerta, while Eddy isn't very happy with his Korean pen pal Hyuck. Ed's pen pal is the strangest of all, however, as Ed has been sent a quaint music box. Ed likes the music, Edd is glad that Ed has a good pen pal relationship, and Eddy is annoyed by the tunes. A fourth person has a very different reaction to this, however, and Rolf angrily storms over, smashes the box, and yells at Ed not to trifle in things he doesn't understand, confusing all three of the Eds.
While Ed and Double D are pondering the meaning of Rolf's reaction, Eddy has come up with a way to philander some money out of the project, and soon enough he runs through the halls with an envelope he stuffs with "moon rocks" and sends by way of post to Korea. The scene is once again stolen by the Urban Rangers, however, as Jimmy arrives and hands Ed another package. In this packet is a Wolf pelt that Ed gladly puts on.
The bell to end school then rings, and the hallway floods with kids ready to go home. As Rolf is walking out, Ed howls like a wolf, and this sends him spinning back into a horrible memory where a man in a wolf pelt stole one of his sheep. Angry, Rolf attacks Ed with his shepherd's rod, and once again warns him not to meddle. Edd and Ed are once again left staring after Rolf in confusion, with Ed crying over being hit, when Plank arrives with a letter for Eddy. When Eddy opens it, a torrent of currency pours out, and he instructs Ed to take him to the candy store, ignoring Edd's warning that as foreign currency it's virtually worthless unless it's exchanged for regular money.
A short while later, Edd's prophecy seems to have come true, as Eddy is rudely tossed out of the store jawbreakerless. Before long, though, Ed quits paying attention to Eddy's predicament, as a chicken has popped out of a bush and he wishes to hug it. As it turns out, this chicken is a trap, and Ed is soon dragged over to Rolf's house. His friends follow, but the trail suddenly grows cold. Double D is confused, and he finds the sound of a dripping trap rather distracting, so he turns it off. Suddenly the ground beneath them opens up, sending them tumbling into a vast underground cavern.
In this cavern, Ed is trapped in a cave while Rolf tortures him. When Edd and Eddy speak up on his behalf, Rolf angrily grabs them as well. Soon, the Eds are trapped in Rolf's shed while Rolf uses his cow to torture Ed. Unfortunately for him, Ed doesn't understand the torture, and is perfectly happy to be dunked in oatmeal again and again by Beatrice. Suddenly, the door is flung open, and Jonny enters with another mail call, this time for Edd. Double D opens his letter and takes out an unusual gift: a feather duster. He naturally finds this odd, as his mother has an allergy to feathers that he's sure he informed his pen pal about. Somebody else recognizes this, though, and breaks into gales of mirth, as the item in question is the "Feather Duster of Tomfoolery", sent by Gerta the Goatmilker, the greatest prankster in Norway.
Of course, they must rebut, and soon the Eds are wrapped up in a suitcase that is supposed to be sent to Norway. According to Rolf, when Gerta opens the suitcase, they must leap out and shave her legs for the final prank. Of course, none of the Eds are too enthused about this, but Rolf doesn't care, as he just leaves them there to be shipped away. Naturally, things can only get worse from this point, and they do, as Ed now has to go to the bathroom.
Eddy: [mocking a photo from his pen pal] "Check out the head on this guy! 'My name is Hyuck and I am from Korea!' Is he screaming to get fleeced or what?"
Rolf: [enraged] "A dog has raised his hind leg on the age of nevermore! Heed Rolf, do not get involved, ill-advised Ed Boy, lest your pomegranates shrivel at the cold of the Dark Sea!"
Ed: [pitifully] "Rolf hit me with an umbrella, Double D!" Edd: "Oh, there, there, Ed. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation to Rolf's irrational behavior." Eddy: "So, what'd ya do this time, Ed? Put on his grandma's pantaloons again?"
Ed: [wearing his wolf pelt] "Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!"
Ed: [prancing about as the music box plays] "I'm skipping to my Lou, Eddy!"
Eddy: [sarcastically] "Oh boo-hoo, what's Wolfgang McHairyback gonna do? Stick eels down our pants again?"
Eddy: [angry] "What makes you so special?" Ed: [proud] "I eat cereal, Eddy."
Kevin: [threateningly] "Get away from me, space dork, or I'll shove these moon rocks right up your–" [The Urban Rangers interrupt.]
Rolf: "QUAKE AND QUIVER LIKE A JELLYFISH, DOGGY DOO-DOO ED-BOY! FOR IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT SHEPHERD ELDERS, ROLF WILL GRILL YOUR STRUDEL UNTIL YOU CRY LIKE A TEENSY WEENSY BABY!" Ed: "Slow down there, chief! Strudel gives me gas! How about one large pepperoni, no mushrooms, double pickles?" Eddy: "Let me go halfers with you on it, Lumpy!"
Rolf: "Talk, Ed-Boy!" Ed: [cheerfully] "Hi Rolf!" Rolf: "Talk, I say!" Ed: [cheerfully] "Hi Rolf!" Rolf: [wearily] "Talk, you son-of-a-gun!" Ed: [cheerfully] "Hi Rolf!" Rolf: [wearily] "Please, talk!" Ed: [cheerfully] "Hi Rolf!" [Many hours later, Edd & Eddy are half-asleep and Rolf looks like a wreck. Ed is still completely unfazed by the torture.] Rolf: [wearily] "The Ed-Boy's fortitude is to be admired." Ed: [cheerfully] "Hi Rolf!" Edd: "For heaven's sake, Rolf! This was all a great misunderstanding." Eddy: "Yeah! How was we to know you were such a lily-livered, gutless doormat?!" [Rolf turns to Edd and Eddy with a tired, psychotic look. Suddenly, Jonny enters Rolf's shed, blowing a bugle.] Jonny: "Paging Double D, mail for ya." Edd: "Thank you, Ranger Jonny." Jonny: "Don't mention it, Double D." Edd: "It must be a reply from my Norwegian pen pal Gerta." Rolf: "Gerta? Norwegian? The goat milker?" Edd: [pulling out a feather duster] "This is odd. A feather duster? I'm sure I informed Gerta of mother's allergy to feathers." Rolf: "Oho! The feather duster of tomfoolery!" [He begins laughing.] Eddy: "Hey, what's with you?" Rolf: "Are you so simple, head and neck is one Ed-Boy? Gerta the Goatmilker is famous for her jovial jests! It was she that sent the wolf parcels to the doo-doo Ed-Boy! She has made a merry Andrew of us all, yes?" Ed: "What?" [Rolf snaps his fingers, commanding Beatrice to drop Ed.] Rolf: "Come! We must rebut whilst the turnips are still hard!"
We learn that Edd has a Norwegian pen pal named Gerta.
We learn that Eddy has a pen pal named Hyuck who is from Korea, who is named after Ed, Edd n Eddy's character, prop & background designer, Hyuck E.
Goof: When Rolf walks down the stairs to get the Eds, he's seen with 4 toes. All characters on the show have 3 toes, not 4.
It is unknown who Ed's, Kevin's, Nazz's, Sarah's and the Kankers' pen pals are and where they are from.
The wolf pelt's tail moves back and forth when Ed has it on.
This is the second time Korea was referenced, the first was in "Once Upon an Ed". Wondering how? Look for a jawbreaker with a Korean label in Eddy's story.
The Kankers appeared, but did not talk in this episode, except for Marie, who only had one line.
Running Gag: Rolf attacking Ed every time Ed gets a wolf-related gift or something related to the gift.
Nazz appears in this episode, but she doesn't have any lines.
The title card has the "ø" character from the Scandinavian alphabet. This is a possible reference to Edd's Norwegian pen-pal.
It is unknown how Gerta would know Ed's name, although it's very likely Edd would have told her about Ed (possibly Eddy) and Rolf.
Somehow, Jonny knew that the Eds were trapped in Rolf's shed.
Apparently, a man who disguised himself with a wolf pelt stole Rolf's sheep when he was a child. This event scarred Rolf for life.
Ed apparently has put on Rolf's grandma's pantaloons before since Eddy asked if Ed did that again.
At the end of the episode, the Eds are packed into a suitcase to be sent to Gerta. The postal code on the suitcase is 604 MVC 6651. If the letters are translated to their corresponding numbers on a push button phone, it corresponds to AKA Cartoon's phone number.
The stamp on the suitcase at the end has a postage value of 5 cents. This would actually be nowhere near the postage required to send a package to Norway.
All the Korean money that Eddy received could actually have been easily converted into U.S. Dollars for rapturous spending at The Candy Store.
Rolf is completely a lineage destruction psychopath.
The Eds completely packed in a suitcase ready to be sent to Norway to Double D's pen pal, Gerta, the Goat Milker.