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The Eds are Coming/Script

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Script


[The camera lowers itself from a shot of the sky to a shot of the cornfield. The scene is drawn in a strange style, one much more realistic than it normally is. Jimmy can be seen skipping through the corn.]
Jimmy: "Good day, world!"
[He sings a song, and a teddy bear and a stuffed bunny come up beside him and hold hands with him. He laughs with joy. A butterfly then flies up to his head and pulls off his cap.]
Jimmy: "Who's there?" [Birds come up and comb his hair.] "I'm so awesome!"
[He runs up to a train station, where a caterpillar is waiting. He climbs on and rides away.]
Mr. Sun: [turning to Jimmy to reveal a smiling face] "Good day, Jimmy!"
Jimmy: [waving] "Good day, Mr. Sun!"
[Jimmy comes upon a field filled with sweets.]
Jimmy: "Goodie goodie goodie!"
[He picks up a lollipop and licks it. He then sees Nazz, Rolf and Kevin up ahead.]
Jimmy: "Salutations, fellow children of the cul-de-sac!"
Kevin: "Felicitations to you to, dear Jimmy!"
Nazz: "Your cowlick looks so defined today, Jimmy!"
Rolf: "Rolf has much admiration for he who can lick a cow!"
Jimmy: "A compliment, I'm sure. Sorry to say, I'm on my way! Toodle-oo!" [His caterpillar heads off into the distance.]
Nazz: "Ta ta!"
Kevin: "Cheerio!"
Rolf: "Later, alligator!"
[Jimmy comes to the last stop.]
Jimmy: [patting the caterpillar] "Nice riding you, Mr. Caterpillar!" [Jimmy gets off and notices someone.] "Hi-de-hi, cul-de-sac castaways! I see Dolly No-No!"
[The camera shifts to show the Eds, lined up on a doll's legs. The doll's left arm, instead of being normal, is a hand-shaped wooden paddle. As we watch, it comes down, effectively spanking all three Eds at once. Apparently it is a machine built to punish the Eds.]
Jimmy: "It's keeping you from wreaking havoc on this fine day."
Eddy: "Havoc?" [recognizing a homophone] "Oh, like the fish!" [The arm hits them.]
Edd: "That's haddock, Eddy." [The arm hits them.]
Ed: "My buttoms got a haddock!"
[The arm hits them again. Strangely, Ed seems impervious to pain, as his facial expression does not change.]
Jimmy: "You three are so kooky!" [He snaps his fingers, and butterfly-like wings magically unfurl from his back. He flies away.]
Eddy: "Darn it, I love his cowlick!" [The arm comes down.]
[Jimmy flies over the candy fields into the cul-de-sac. He touches down and points straight ahead.]
Jimmy: "There she is! My uppercut angel. My pummeling protector!"
[Sarah races towards him. Flowers spring from the ground everywhere her feet touch. Jimmy, in his stead, runs towards Sarah. They are about to meet when what looks like a giant saw blade falls from the sky. Jimmy runs into it and falls back onto the ground, dazed. His wings break off his back and lie beside him. He looks up, and sits up suddenly. Lightning flashes from the sky as a tornado forms about a rope connected to the saw blade. The camera angle shifts to a wide shot, showing another blade falling in the distance as the first one begins to cut. The second blade then begins cutting the earth. Jimmy just stares in shell-shocked horror.]
Sarah: [running towards Jimmy] "Help Jimmy!"
[Jimmy runs to Sarah and tries to jump the gorge caused by the saw. He almost, but not quite, makes it, and he grasps desperately at the concrete.]
Jimmy: [terrified] "What's happening?!? AAAHHH!!!" [He falls into the gorge.]
Sarah: [running to the edge] "JIMMY!" [Her eyes bug as she sees Jimmy holding on to a pipe protruding from the wall.]
Jimmy: "Sarah?" [seeing something behind her] "ROBOT WIGGLY! ROBOT WIGGLY!"
[Sarah straightens up and looks around to see what has Jimmy so scared. A robotic segmented worm darts around behind her, slowly encircling her. Thankfully, Sarah notices it just before it can close upon her throat, and she ducks just in time to escape its grasp.]
Sarah: "Help me! Jimmy!"
[She moves underneath a metal pole which houses three of the worm-like structures. Just as it seems they will close upon her, they go into a spasm, straightening out and becoming erect, and then plunging into the earth. The camera shifts to show the same thing happening with a second claw. The camera then cuts to Jimmy, and the sound of a third attaching itself can be heard. The part on which Sarah stands starts to get lifted up.]
Jimmy: "AAH, Sarah, Sarah! AAAAH!!" [His speech dissolves into incoherent babbling and screams.]
Sarah: [thrusting her hand towards Jimmy] "Take my hand, Jimmy!"
Jimmy: [struggling to lift his other arm] "I'm trying, Sarah! I can't reach you!"
[The cul-de-sac is lifted out of the ground. As it rises, Jimmy's pipe begins to break. Sarah can only watch as Jimmy's fingers slip and the pipe breaks.]
Sarah: "JIMMMMMYYY!" [The cul-de-sac is lifted into the sky and disappears.]
Jimmy: [falling into the abyss] "SARAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" [The depth into which he falls turn a pinkish orange, and he disappears in them. We then zoom out to reveal that the pink-orange is his mouth.]


[Jimmy is lying in his bed, screaming. He suddenly stops and sits up, fully awake, shivering and sweating. He gets up and goes to the window. He looks outside. Everything appears to be normal; the cul-de-sac is covered in snow, and as he watches, a car drives off.]
Sarah: [standing by the door] "Boy, I thought you'd never wake up."
Jimmy: [hugging Sarah] "Oh Sarah! What a horrible dream!" [sobbing] "These Herculean mechanical pinchers dropped from the sky! All wiggly like! And snatched you away!"
Sarah: [marching Jimmy to his bed] "How many Belly Bomb Bon-Bons did you eat before bed, mister? You know they give you nightmares."
Jimmy: "Um...maybe one. Or two."
[Sarah searches under his bed. She finds an empty box and holds it up, revealing eight empty wrappers.]
Jimmy: "Okay, guilty as charged. I'm a piggy." [After a short pause, they both begin laughing.]


[Jimmy is seen skipping to his front door, singing the same song he was singing in his dream. Sarah follows, and leaves while Jimmy is putting on his winter wear. As she exits, mail falls out of the mail slot onto the floor.]
Jimmy: "Oh look! A postcard! I love post–"
[Jimmy turns the postcard to reveal a cornfield–the same one as appeared in his dream. He then hallucinates several of the scenes from his dream, in this order:

  • The cornfield
  • The giant blade
  • The tornado and second blade
  • The pincers digging into the earth
  • The cul-de-sac being lifted away
  • Sarah screaming "Take my hand!"
  • Sarah screaming "JIMMY!"

[At the end of the hallucination, he is sweating profusely, his eyes open wide. Sarah is standing beside him, tapping her foot and waiting.]
Sarah: "Jimmy?" [The postcard drops from Jimmy's hands. Sarah leads him outside.] "Boy, you sure are acting weird today."
Jimmy: [after slipping on a patch of ice] "Owie Sarah!" [He runs off after her.]


[Jonny and Plank are gathering some items from a pair of trashcans in the lane.]
Jonny: "Right on!" [placing a tire and a flowerpot on his head] "Wait til everybody sees our happening harvest hats at the Sadie Hawkins dance!" [turning to Plank] "What do we need now, buddy?"
Plank:
Jonny: [confused] "What the heck's a rutabaga?" [after pondering it] "I betcha Rolf's got one of those things! He's kinda nutty that way."
[A green glow suddenly comes from Rolf's house.]
Jonny: [not fazed in the least] "Hey Rolf! Whatcha doin?"
[He wanders towards the house. A green glow envelopes the screen.]


[Sarah falls to the ground and starts making a snow angel.]
Sarah: "C'mon, Jimmy, snow angels are fun!" [Ice cubes hit her in the face.]
Jimmy: [carving ice] "Robot claws. From the sky." [The camera pulls out to reveal a fully carved claw.] "They're coming. To take us away."
Sarah: "Get over it, will ya? It was just a dream."
Jimmy: [sobbing] "I can't control myself, Sarah! It seemed so real! As though it actually happened!"
Sarah: "Well that's just plain stupid, silly."
Jimmy: "I feel so icky, Sarah!" [He falls into her arms, and they exit to the right.]


[Edd's voice is heard coming from an upstairs window. He is apparently tutoring Eddy.]
Edd: "...wire a susceptible brain. Therefore an integer of 4, added into the equation, yields a much more readily decipherable hot potato. Knowing Q is a constant, we can deduce that P is equal to 72. Any questions, Eddy?" [He turns around.] "Eddy?"
[A pencil is seen attached to mechanical teeth, which are walking it back and forth across a table tilted towards a chair. Eddy is no longer inhabiting the chair, however, having vacated it for the window.]
Eddy: "Check it out, Sockhead! Inflatohead's busting an artery!" [He points out the window to where Jonny is freaking out.] "What an idiot!"
Jonny: [on the street, screaming at the gathered crowd] "You gotta believe us guys, we're all dead ducks! DEAD DUCKS I TELL YA!"
Nazz: [examining his face, which is burned red] "Dude, harsh sunburn." [holding up a bottle of aloe vera] "You need some aloe vera!"
Edd: "Pardon me, if it's not too much to ask, could you please keep your voices down? Eddy's tutoring requires–"
Jonny: "You'll believe me!" [He jumps on Edd.] "There's flesh-eating aliens invading Rolf's house, Double D! He said so! He did!"
Eddy: [enjoying the show] "Well this is gonna be good." [He pulls out a lawn chair and a thermos and settles in to watch.]
Kevin: "Flesh-eating aliens, huh? Sheyeah, right. And I got a Russian plate-twirling team camping out in my backyard." [Everyone laughs.]
Jonny: "They don't believe us, buddy!" [shaking Edd] "THEY DON'T BELIEVE US!"
Jimmy: "I believe you, Jonny!"
Sarah: [trying to save Jimmy from social suicide] "Ha ha ha! Oh, Jimmy. You're such a kidder!" [in an undertone to Jimmy] "What the heck's wrong with you? Get real, Jimmy!"
Jimmy: [to everyone] "I have never been more real in all my life, Sarah! My dream has come true!" [beginning to cry] "Giant blades will fall, slicing through the earth like a deep-dish flan! IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!" [He faints.]
Eddy: "Sweet!"
Nazz: "Intense."
Kevin: "Gimme a break."
Eddy: [to Edd] "Oh come on, you can't go get me some marshmallows?" [Edd shakes his head.]
Sarah: [realizing something] "WHERE'S MY STUPID BROTHER?"
Edd: "He did leave this note on his bedroom door this morning–"
Sarah: [snatching it] "Lemme see." [reading] "At Rolf's, needs help."
[A discordant piano chord plays as all the kids but Kevin realize what this could mean.]
Nazz: "Dude, aliens or not, something's seriously up."
Edd: "Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion just a little? Ed's no doubt assisting Rolf with some farmyard duties. It wouldn't be the first time."
Jonny: [still hysterical] "OR MAYBE, ED'S HELPING ROLF FIGHT OFF THOSE ALIENS AS WE SPEAK!"
Kevin: "Yo, put an end to it, and just go check his house out already." [Everyone turns to him. Jonny & Jimmy grab him and take him with them to Rolf's house.]


[The kids are standing outside Rolf's house. Strangely, all the snow within a certain radius of the center of the house has melted, leaving a circular patch of bare grass and some wet patches of melted snow. The change is so extreme that, on a hedge, one part is bald while a part neighboring it is covered in snow. Not only this, but the lines inside the circle are wavering, as if a heat wave is going on.]
Edd: [entering the circle] "Well it hardly appears to be the stronghold of some alien encroachment now, does it?" [He starts sweating immediately after completing the sentence.] "Goodness, is it me, or is it suddenly becoming unbearably warm?" [He removes his coat, which lets out a bunch of steam.]
Eddy: [removing his shirt] "Man, I'm frying like an egg over here!"
Edd: "Strange." [The back of Rolf's mailbox pops open from the heat.] "How could the land temperature change so drastically from one area to the next?"
Jonny: "See? I told ya."
[A strange squeaking comes from the house. The kids stare in worry and fear. Suddenly, an object shaped like a wheel of cheese shoots from the chimney. It heads towards the park and crashes, causing an explosion.]
Sarah: "Holy mack–"
[The blast wave hits the group. Most are thrown to a light pole which they grab for safety. All except Kevin and Edd are against the pole when the wave finishes; Edd is against the mailbox, and Kevin has managed to stay on his feet.]
Edd: [sporting a pair of binoculars] "The playground!"
Kevin: [taking charge] "Follow me!"


[The 6 kids head out after Kevin. In the playground, there is a crater with green smoke billowing out of it. Kevin is the first one to reach it, and he is seen looking straight down at the mysterious object. The rest of the kids arrive shortly afterwards, and they look at it as well. It is still in the form of a wheel of cheese (albeit on its side), but nothing is happening, other than the waves of smoke coming off of it.]
Edd: "What in heaven's name is that?"
Kevin: "Whatever it is, it reeks."
[A hand thrusts itself out of the depths. Nazz is the first to panic, but the others (with the exception of Kevin) are quick to follow her lead. They all head for shelter in various sections of the playground.]
Kevin: [seeing the meteor broken in two] "It hatched, man!" [He runs away to hide on the broken monkey bars.]


[Jonny is seen cowering under a bench, with Plank taped to the back side. As we watch, his head causes one side of the bench to pop out of the ground. The camera then cuts to a tire swing, which is lazily swinging back and forth, squeaking all the way. Edd leans out from behind one of the swing-set's poles and applies oil to the swing's joint, stopping the squeaking. He returns to his original position, before he and Eddy stare out from behind their respective poles at the empty playground.]
Eddy: [frightened and pointing to the exit] "Let's make a break for it!"
[They dart out across the playground. Edd is in front of Eddy, almost being carried. They suddenly run into something covered in green goop.]
Edd and Eddy: "AAH!"
Eddy: [seeing a familiar face] "Ed?"
[Ed is standing in the middle of the park in his underwear, covered in green glop. His cheeks are covered in red markings.]
Ed: [traumatized] "Squeezed...cheeks pinched...ribs prodded...GRIZZLY FACED BEINGS THAT SMELL LIKE WAFFLES!" [suddenly back to normal] "I am so pooped."
Jonny: [coming to a conclusion] "The aliens experimented on Ed!"
Ed: "Protect yourself, large-noggined one–" [jumping on his head] "–as they will use you as an ottoman for their scaly feet!"
Jonny: "NO! NOT THE OTTOMAN!"
Kevin: "That's it!" [He pulls a soap box out of nowhere and stands on it.] "We're storming that house!"
Eddy: [realizing Kevin's becoming the leader] "Hold the phone!" [He marches up to Kevin.] "Who made you Commander-in-Chump, boxhead?"
Kevin: "Oh, I guess you want to go in the house first, huh, dorky?" [A visual of the house is shown. The green smoke which was coming from Ed's meteor is now coming from the chimney.]
Eddy: [suddenly agreeable] "Kev, the leader! Great idea."
Edd: "I'll research Ed's tawdry extraterrestrial material. There may be vital clues on how to deal with the alien insurgency."
[Kevin puts a toothpick between his teeth and makes a signal that the rest should follow him. The group stays there for a few seconds, but then follows him to the sound of sheep noises.]


[Edd is in Ed's basement, looking through his comic books. He makes noises as he studies them. He looks at a copy of Shocking Fantasy.]
Edd: [studying its cover] "Square Dancers from the Outer Reaches? Colorful." [looking at a Vault of Science] "Attack of the Space Nose Miners? Titillating." [picking up a Tales of Putridity] "Inappropriate Pinchers from Beyond? Hmm."
[Interested, possibly because Ed stated his cheeks were pinched, he flips through the comic. He finds an interesting page and skims it.]
Edd: "Heat vision?" [On one of the pages is a scene similar to Ed's crash landing in the park earlier that day.] "Restrictuesprobians are known to produce elevated temperatures of HEAT!" [He notes "HEAT VISION" on a notepad and circles it. Apparently all the evidence points to the aliens having heat vision.] "Coincidence?"
[An odd noise comes from somewhere in the room.]
Edd: "Hello?"
[He shivers and looks around. Suddenly, he turns and stares at something in the corner of the room. What he is looking at is a totem mask. He then spins around to stare at some of Ed's knick knacks, including a stuffed pig, a toy robot, and a pineapple. Edd begins to sweat profusely. He then sees Ed's door creak open. He grabs some comic books and leaves through the window, tearing his coat on the way.]
Edd: [annoyed] "Oh for goodness sake!" [He hears the noise again and takes off.]


[Edd is knocking on a metal door with a flap at eye level. The slit slides back and Ed stares out at him.]
Ed: "Password."
Edd: [flustered] "Password? Bu-I wasn't informed of any password." [The peephole slides shut.] "Hello?"
[The door suddenly bursts open and Ed comes flying out (still only dressed in his underwear and shoes). Ed attacks Edd and pummels him.]
Ed: "I SEE THROUGH YOUR DISGUISE, CREATURE FROM BEYOND THE STARS!"
Edd: [trying to speak] "Ed! It's me! Double–" [receiving a particularly brutal blow] "–Dee-hee-hee!"
Ed: [recognizing him] "Double D! You're alive!" [He carries Edd into the hideout, which is apparently someone's basement. He then picks up a plank and uses it to barricade the door.]


Kevin: [in the middle of plotting] "While the Alpha team circles the perimeter, here. And hooks up with the Omega team, here. That's when we take 'em. Any questions?"
[The room is silent.]
Eddy: "Yawn." [Jimmy raises his hand.]
Kevin: "Jimmy." [Jimmy jumps halfway across the room to hug him.]
Jimmy: "Thank you thank you thank you!" [He kisses Kevin's feet.]
Kevin: [displeased] "Right." [to the team] "Start filling your weapons. Double D? What'd you find out, man?"
Edd: [saluting] "My information gathering points to alien beings dispensing heat through–um–their vision."
Kevin: "Heat vision, huh?"
Edd: "With that–" [opening a cooler he's been lugging around] "–I took the liberty of developing a sub-zero battlesuit, which should effectively protect us from their detonation of heat." [He places the suit on Ed.]
Kevin: [somewhat impressed] "Nice." [to Jimmy] "Jimmy! Curlers don't count as weapons!"
[Eddy comes up to the other two Eds, lugging what appears to be a modified vacuum cleaner.]
Eddy: "Hold this." [He hands Ed the hose. He then goes to turn it on. It sucks Ed into a jar at the other end.]
Ed: "Do it again! Ha ha ha ha!"
[Eddy, extremely happy, rubs his hands together with glee.]
Edd: "Eddy, I'm a tad suspect that this will provide you with adequate defense."
Eddy: "Defense shmefence! I'm gonna be swimming in moolah! Once I bag one of those aliens, I'll be famous!" [He puts the contraption on his back.]
Edd: "Well, just let Ed out when you're done, Eddy.
Ed: "Pull my finger, Eddy!" [He farts.]


[The kids are seen loading their weapons. Kevin places Chunky Puffs into a sort of gun.]
Kevin: "Ready?"
[Jonny is using bottles of ketchup and mustard as his weapons. He fires them off a couple times, then eats some ketchup.]
Jonny: "Ready! Right, buddy?"
Nazz: [combing her hair] "Ready–almost."
Ed: [breaking the fourth wall] "Don't look at the camera, don't look at the camera."
Jimmy: [nervous, in a tiny voice] "Ready."
Sarah: [confident] "This stink juice'll burn their nostrils off."
Jimmy: "But Sarah, you said you liked my homemade dandelion perfume."
[Sarah grins guiltily and hides the bottle.]
Edd: [making a speech] "It is here, dear friends, on the threshold of fate, where we stare into the gaping mouth of uncertainty. In this our darkest hour, I wish to express my–" [Kevin interrupts and pushes him out of the way.]
Kevin: "All right. Listen up! These space dweebs made a big mistake invading OUR neighborhood and taking OUR pal. What say we give 'em a good old Peach Creek welcome?" [The kids cheer.] "Let's do this!" [He knocks the plank barricade off the door.] "We're coming for ya Rolfy boy!"


[The kids creep up to Rolf's house and surround it, hiding behind cars, bushes, poles, and fences. Jimmy even manages to hide himself in Rolf's mailbox. After they are all in position, Kevin whistles and makes weird motions, as if he's signaling something. Sarah, obeying him, creeps out, clutching her bottle of perfume tight to her chest. She slinks up to the house, pulls open a window, rips the top off the bottle, and rears back to throw it.]
Sarah: "Take a whiff of this, you bad aliens!" [She tosses it in and runs back to the sidewalk.] "I did it, Jimmy!" [The bottle comes flying back out and lands squarely on her head. The perfume envelopes her nostrils.] "RUAGH! They got me!" [She faints.]
Ed: [shocked] "Ed is coming, baby sister!"
[He starts to run out after her, but Eddy yanks him back.]
Eddy: "Ed, wait! Are you nuts? Those aliens will suck your brain out!"
[Eddy peeks out from behind the car, then goes over to the mailbox, bending it forward. When he lets go, Jimmy flies out, landing on Sarah. Jimmy drags Sarah back, whimpering in pain. Kevin then signals Jonny.]
Jonny: [on the roof, apparently about to go down the chimney] "Watch my back, Plank!"
Plank:
Jonny: "Let's dance, ali–" [He tries to jump down the chimney head first, but his head gets stuck. Comically, he just shoots ketchup and mustard all over the roof by the chimney and Plank. The chimney then begins to swell from the blockage, until it pushes all the air into Jonny's head. The air rushes out of his ears, and Jonny deflates like a balloon.]
Edd: [as Eddy laughs] "That isn't funny, Eddy."
Kevin: [rushing behind the car, he thrusts his gun into Edd's hands] "Look alive. Here. Cover me." [taking Ed, who has a trashcan full of bowling balls on his back] "You, come with me." [Eddy slips into the car.] "Eat this, outer space freaks. Feed me some ammo, Dorko!" [Ed just stands there cowering.] "Move it!"
Ed: [panicking] "GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, ALIENS FROM THE UNKNOWN!" [He throws the balls at Rolf's house all at once. They all go to the sides, rubbing up against the hedges.] "GUTTER BALL!"
Edd: "I hope you're going to pick those up."
Kevin: [peeved] "YOU GUYS ARE USELESS!" [walking away] "Everybody's on their own, I've had it."
Jimmy: [clutching his legs] "My dream! We'll be sucked up into the sky!"
Nazz: "Chill out, Kevin!"
Sarah: "Yeah! We gotta get Rolf outta that house!"
Ed: [offscreen] "Issue 14, Zombie Aliens from Planet Rhubark, states, 'more than often it is required to bait said aliens with a human female to lure potential flesh-consuming extraterrestrials from their lair'."
Nazz: "That's so dumb!"
[Everyone looks at her, most with sharklike grins on their faces.]


[Nazz is seen tied up. One arm is tied to the mailbox, the other to the lamppost. The lamp is shining its light directly on her. She is now in a pink dress, with a giant bow in her hair, and a tag affixed reading "FREE!" She looks rather frazzled.]
Edd: "Dearest Nazz, find it in your heart to forgive me. Perhaps it's best to think of it as a selfless act to save–"
[She slaps him. Edd tumbles backward to the hedge behind which the other kids are crouched. The streetlight fizzles and goes out. Almost immediately thereafter, a green glow comes from the building. Nazz tugs at her ropes hopelessly. Ed and Eddy watch from inside the car. The green light suddenly goes out. The kids watch in horrified fascination. Suddenly, an alien peeps out from the window. A green light then comes from the keyhole and windows in the door. Kevin puts his weapon up, having apparently collected the bowling balls, and aims at the house. Four aliens are seen, gathered in the window. All but one look like squids; the leftmost one resembles an octopus.]
Kevin: "Whoa."
[The door opens. Eddy is crouched in the car, seemingly trembling with fear.]
Eddy: "There's so many of them." [ecstatic] "I'M GONNA BE SUPER RICH!"
[Eddy starts his weapon. Ed buckles himself into a child seat in the backseat of the car for no apparent reason. The door opens fully, bathing Nazz and much of Rolf's yard in a green glow. An alien comes out, dripping black goo. When fully revealed, it looks like a 6-armed octopus, tentacles waving in the air. Nazz's eyes open to impossible proportions.]
Nazz: "PLEASE! DON'T EAT ME!!!" [The kids scream. Eddy leaps out of the car.]
Eddy: [blinded by greed] "Seven-figure bracket, here I come!" [He heads straight for the alien.]


[Suddenly, the lights snap on, revealing the alien to be none other than Rolf, wearing an octopus on his head.]
Rolf: "Hello, fellow neighborhood nothings!" [He steps out of his house. Ed gets out of the car nervously.]
Nazz: [questioningly] "Rolf?"
Eddy: [not noticing] "Geronimo!" [He plunges his tool into Rolf's belly button.]
Rolf: "Oh-ho-ho!" [pointing at the vacuum cleaner] "You have come to join the celebrations!"
Sarah and Jimmy: "Celebration?"
Eddy: "You ain't an alien from outer space!" [He throws Rolf off his weapon.]
Rolf: [grabbing Kevin's cap and fanning himself with it] "Rolf's skin weeps with tears of impurity, as his relatives turned the furnace up too high!"
Jonny: [confused] "That's what he said, buddy. Relatives!"
Rolf: [giving Kevin's cap back] "Relatives, yes! Rolf's brood of bottomless bellies from the Old Country!" [He points to the 3 squids and the octopus, whose silhouettes clearly have human bodies now.]
Edd: [understanding] "Of course! It all makes sense now!" [walking over to the rest of the kids] "Rolf isn't literally being invaded by aliens. It's just his family, visiting from his native land."
Ed: [still in a state of fear] "THEY ARE SO OTHERWORLDLY!"
Rolf: [pulling out Ed's clothes, which are covered in steaming green goo] "Great-aunt Barga and Uncle Yorick thank you for letting them use your clothes as emergency bibs, low on the totem pole Ed-boy." [He snaps them smartly, shaking the food remnants off.] "Come, fickle friends of the cul-de-sac, join Rolf's family in the festivities!"


[A projector ejects a slide and moves on to the next one. While projecting it, the projection glows green. This explains the green glow coming from the house. The kids have all been shepherded inside, and as we watch, Kevin quietly opens the door and sneaks out.]
Rolf: "Ha ha! Rolf suspects little Cousin Bastian wants a kiss under the membrane of a yak, she who gives migraines!" [Sarah, appropriately scared by this, runs off, taking Jimmy with her. Jonny and Plank follow her. Rolf hauls Eddy back as he tries to leave.] "Ed boy! You must stay. Nana sees the footrest potential in your flat as a pancake head!" [He drags Eddy off in order to make an ottoman of him, as foreseen by Ed.]
Eddy: "Aah! No! Let me go! I don't want to be an ottoman!" [grabbing onto Ed's shirt] "Help! Ed! Double D!" [He gets torn away by Rolf.]
Edd: "Isn't it exciting, Ed? We finally have a chance to meet Rolf's enigmatic family. Oh, the questions about culture and strange affinity to animal by-products are endless! Shall we?"
Ed: [flat-out panicking] "NO MORE CHEEK PINCHING FOR ED, DOUBLE D!" [He tears out with Edd in tow.]
Nazz: [still tied up] "Hello? A little help here?" [The camera zooms out to show part of the cul-de-sac being lifted up.] "Guys?"
[The camera moves to a new angle, where it becomes apparent that Jimmy's dream has come true. A circular part of the Earth has been cut out and is being lifted away. Three of the claws that originally appeared are attached, one on the street on the house neighboring Rolf's. The camera then zooms out to show a humongous spaceship carrying it away to unknown parts of the galaxy.]

Specials Scripts
"Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw" • "The Eds are Coming" • "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show"
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Specials
See also: Episode Guide

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