Outbreak in the Cul-de-Sac!
Unreliable sources have confirmed that an extreme outbreak of Lackadaisycathro Disease has plagued the cul-de-sac of Peach Creek. The disease came into the public eye after several accounts came from eyewitness reports of the kids after they panicked and ran in a circle around the street for half an hour. Each kid in the cul-de-sac showed unique symptoms. Ed showed signs of an extreme increase of pimple production in his face while Jimmy had come down with flu-like symptoms.
Our team of “crack” reporters arrived on scene. When we tried to approach the kids, from a safe distance, for a comment, Eddy managed to shout out “What’s happened to me!?”
Edd was the only kid not seen in the panic, as appeared to have locked himself inside his house and sealed off all the windows.
It is currently unknown where the disease originated but we do know is that Ed was the first to come in contact with it.
The Civil Emergency and Defense Agency (CEDA) biohazard team later arrived on scene and quarantined the surrounding area. Our reporter team was forced to stay outside the quarantine zone.
We did, however, manage to get a quote from one of the CEDA representatives. “This area is under lockdown, citizen. Go home, wash your hands, and refrain from physically contacting any friends or relatives.”
The last thing we saw was a pair of CEDA workers, clad in biohazard suits, escorting Kevin into one of their Disease Emergency Assessment Dispatch (DEAD) trailers.
Written by Jspyster1
Jonny's receives Law Suit!
In our last issue we had an advertisement that stated that Jonny was selling "Ed-Tendo Diis" and games for those respective consoles. Now, the furious CEO of Nintendo, I. Amu Angiry, as sued Jonny for copying their products. Even more so, he has also been sued for plagiarizing games, such as:
- The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess
- Super Smash Brothers: Brawl
- Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes
Jonny is now facing charges up up to $1,200,000 (from each company).
Jonny had this to say:
"I swear, it was the Eds! I stole all their stuff too! Ask Plank here! Give it to them buddy! What? I did steal them! Whaddaya mean, "shut it, baldy"?"
Trial will take place on sometime in future, and the GI will be on the side of the prosecutors.
The Eds' lawyers prevented them from giving a comment.
Written by Agent M
Multiple Blackouts strike the Cul-de-sac
Blackouts have been becoming surprisingly common in the Cul-de-sac throughout the last few weeks. That first one involving the "Mole Mutants" was just the beginning of this scourge, as power failures have been occurring at very irregular intervals (between 24 hours and five days apart), and all of them at night.
"It's just not fair!" said Kevin, "Three times now, I've had to start my essay from scratch because I was using my computer when the blackout hit," "How am I supposed to dry my hair without power?" commented Nazz. Ed has returned to assigning the blame on mole mutants, but people are being more skeptical this time around.
This has boggled even the most intelligent of the Cul-de-sac. “These power failures continue to perplex me!” remarked Edd, “I can find no logical cause to this dilemma!” Consolidated Franklin Energy Plant manager B.P. Stynx was also confused, “We’ve examined the generators, high-wires, transformers, and everywhere else and found no possible cause for the power failures!” commented Stynx. the only answer we can find is Jonny 2X4's claims of seeing giant robots filling up pink cubes with the electricity, but that's just plain ridiculous. The power failures just keep continuing, without any clear indication to it's source. I just hope I finish this article before another one hi-
Written by Soundblaster
(From the mind of Agent M)
Unfortunately, I cannot edit that much nowadays as I have been bogged down with projects and such. But, you, as a fan and reader, can give me cool stories that I can put on the Inquirer if it's good enough, and you'll get a cool template! So keep thinkin'!
"GRAVY: IT'S NOT JUST MEATJUICE, IT’S A WAY OF LIFE" GRAVYIST PARTY MOTTO
If you wish to sign up/help contribute, contact/e-mail Agent M!
Please leave a review!