Jonny faces Trial!
Months later after the given date of the trial, Jonny finally faces trial, after many witnesses and testimonials about his theft and ripping off of trademarked goods, Jonny was finally subpoena-d into the Peach Creek Laws and Justice building. Later on, after being repeatedly kicked out of the courthouse, the GI (now only comprised of one member) had to wait until it was publically broadcasted on public access. Apparently, Plank was supposed to be a member of Jonny’s defense, but later made the decision to switch sides for a lesser sentence, without informing Jonny, who has later condemned to 3 weeks of grounding, while Plank had not received any form of justice, due to being a plank of wood. The GI is pleased with the results of the trial.
Jonny could not be reached for comment.
Plank… well he didn't comment…
Written by Agent M
Jimmy organizes Bake Sale!
The GI reports that Jimmy will be having a bake sale to raise money to make his fruit pops which will increase the profit tremendously. Upon hearing about the sale, the GI decided to visit Jimmy at his house, he said, “AAHH! What are you doing in my house?! They’re my recipes, mine you hear, so you can tell Eddy that I’m not sharing!”
Unfortunately, Jimmy seemed to have mistaken us (well… just me) for a corporate agent of some sort, to steal his recipes. The GI then decided to wait for the sale to interview him instead.
The reports of the bake sale will be released next issue.
Written by Agent M
Today, the Eds had received a letter in each of their mailboxes. Surprisingly, Eddy's film, "The Hunt for Edosaurus" was nominated and won an Academy/Oscar Award. Apparently, the film was submitted by someone completely uninvolved in the project. He was discovered as a fraud when interviewed, he did not know where the actors lived, how old they were, but only knew their names. He was later
tortured interrogated to reveal the true makers of the film were in fact, the actors. Upon hearing this news, the GI reported to the American Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences that the actors lived on Ra/Rethink Avenue, Peach Creek.
The Eds later received their respective awards, and had this to say:
- "Ooh, shiny!" Ed
- "I am so honored to win this very prestigious award!" Edd
- "Aw yeah! We're in, baby! Wahoo!" Eddy
It was later revealed to have been an elaborate prank by Eddy's Brother, who has only recently been released from prison.
Written by Agent M
Rolf Afraid of Sheep!
For some time now (since the question came into my head), we at the GI have wondered why Rolf has no sheep. He has, after all, repeatedly called himself "the Son of a Shepherd." Rolf, however, has no sheep on his farm. In fact, the closest thing resembling a sheep is his goat, Victor. For this reason I decided to do a stakeout. As bait, I put several sheep (conveniently "borrowed") in Rolf's yard, and what I saw surprised me:
Rolf, once he saw the sheep, started screaming at them. He yelled, "Get away! Shoo! Shoo! You are like horseradish covered in mushy tomatoes picked at the full moon! May your hair bleach like Papa's woolen sweaters!" (limited quote)
At this point I was laughing really hard, and barely managed to take a picture, but I managed it. Unfortunately, it not only came out all blurry, but Rolf noticed me, and shouted "YOU STEAL ROLF'S SOUL WITH YOUR NEWFANGLED DEVICE!" I would have run at that point, but I was still in the middle of a fit of laughter, and so he smashed my camera down over my head, ruining it and causing a concussion.
I then went and
made up obtained these quotes from the neighborhood kids:
- "I LOVE CHICKENS!!!" Ed
- "Oh my, I certainly hope that Rolf does not feel inadequate because of his slightly embarrassing fear of a simple barnyard animal." Edd
- "Get lost, twerp!" Sarah
- (No comment) Rolf (I was not able to obtain one because Victor chased me in an attempt to grab my sandwich)
Written by Xydux
As mentioned above, Xydux's camera has been completely obliterated, and he is looking for a replacement.
If you happen to have a spare, please bring it in to the GI Headquarters, or contact our U-Pay or ViewTube accounts.
All offers will be considered, no matter how outrageous!
(From the mind of Agent M)
Well, I know this issue isn't as nearly good as the others, but I gave this a fair amount of thought. I wanted to do this again, and hopefully, a few other users will too. It's going slowly, but surely, the new GI is making headway. I hope other users will be interested and submit their own stories (ON MY TALK PAGE). Oh, if you join the GI, you can have your own "Ed-Itorial" section, if you write one. Remember, to join the GI, you need to write a story of about +150 words, then send it to me. I know that sounds like a lot, but this section alone is about 120 words.
"GRAVY: IT'S NOT JUST MEATJUICE, IT’S A WAY OF LIFE" GRAVYIST PARTY MOTTO
If you wish to sign up/help contribute, contact/e-mail Agent M!
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