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Edlines:

Jimmy's Bake Sale Falls Flat!

Jimmy Crying

Unfortunately, Jimmy did not expect that the rest of the kids were bored with Jimmy's baked confections after they ate all his Home Ec. projects. The poor child cried over his losses and trudged his way home, dragging his pastries along the way, and cried, "I'm so unhappy!". Eddy then proceeded mock the crying boy while Edd went on about morals and sensitivity.

The GI saw the whole thing and offered to help him carry his products home, and "borrowed" his load.

We later sold it all for $45,000,000 to the highest bidder, a Mr. Pha Tass.

However, Jimmy later found out what we did and we were promptly beaten to a pulped pulp by Sarah, while Jimmy took our profits.

The GI vows revenge against him.


Written by Agent M


Kevin Loses Bike Shorts!

Last night, it was reported that Kevin lost his collection of spandex bike shorts. The distressed jock came to us for our interrogative investigative skills to find the culprit.

We began our journey with Eddy: a prime candidate, being a rival and enemy of Kevin.

However, we have several eye-witness accounts that put Eddy at his brother's trailer after an unsuccessful scam that caused several mortal injuries and extensive damage to property.

We then later investigated Ed, who had an odd habit of collecting large quantities of odd things, such as fried chicken and sponges.

Currently, it is unknown who or what is to blame for this, although most evidence suggests that Kevin lost his shorts.


Written by Agent M


Independent Ed

Is Plank... ALIVE???

B&W Plank

You've heard of the bald kid Jonny right? The kid with the alter ego as Captain Melonhead.

But do you recall the one called Plank? A two by four hunk of wood, whom Jonny says to be his friend?

Jonny communicates with him by saying, "What's that Plank?" And then repeats exactly what he said using "Plank said..." and so on. Some people wonder if Plank really is alive, or if Jonny really is insane. So the Eds and the GI decided do some proper research.

Double D has been following the pair with a microphone and camera, but still no results. Ed and Eddy followed them as well, maintaining a close distance, but no results from them either. The GI just followed them and pretended to be cool. So far, they have only found proof that Jonny is crazy.

Until one day...

The three Eds were sitting on the curb on a Saturday afternoon debating their new scam, with the GI pretending to be part of their group...

Jonny and Plank were taking their daily stroll. It just so happened, Eddy was sitting on his tape recorder turning it on - as Jonny walked by, they heard someone other than him talking... They didn't see anyone else, and found out it was Plank when Jonny replied to him, and Plank said, "An isosceles triangle has two congruent sides." He was tutoring Jonny in maths.

The Eds now had evidence that Plank really was alive.

The next morning, the Eds held a meeting with the kids to address the matter, while the GI sneaked in through a window. The kids had a hard time considering that Plank was real. They needed more proof than just a recording. So now the Eds have to video tape "Plank talking". The Eds have to come up with more evidence before next week to prove themselves right. Will the Eds succeed in their trial? Probably not.

Here's what the kids had to say:

  • "I know that was Plank! I heard him! And then I heard Jonny answer him! It's true I tell ya!" Eddy
  • "Plank is as real is as real as you and me! Ever since he started tutoring me, my grades have gone up a whole grade!" Jonny
  • "This could be my chance to get published in 'Science Weekly' magazine!" Edd


Written by DogDays124


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Ed-Itorial

(From the mind of Agent M)

This has been a VERY short issue, and I plan the next one to be longer. On the brighter side of things, I am currently looking for a story with slight crossover themes or references to other franchises, as long as they are subtle. I am also thinking of starting an "Ed-Tertainment" section to chronicle the state of the entertainment industry in the EEnE universe.



"GRAVY: IT'S NOT JUST MEATJUICE, IT’S A WAY OF LIFE" GRAVYIST PARTY MOTTO


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